It started several years ago when we became a part of an organization called "International Friends." They match up American families with International students attending Missouri State University. We are charged to be a contact for these students to orient them to life in the States, include them in family events, and just generally be there if they need help navigating the American culture. We "adopted" a young man from China and one from Malaysia. We really enjoyed getting to know them and including them in our family. The young man from Malaysia has since moved on but Eric is still here going to school.
This past October, Eric's mom came to stay for a few months. Although her name looks like this, Li Juan Yu, I will refer to her as Li since my Chinese pronunciation was never the greatest. Li spoke virtually no English and we speak virtually no Chinese so needless to say, communication was stifled. Eric did his best to translate but being able to carry on a decent conversation was really not a possibility. Despite the language barrier, Li and I instantly connected. Hugs and smiles were pretty much our only mutual communication but amazingly, that was all we needed. We took them to the grocery store, out to eat, to Bass Pro, and included them in our extended family's Thanksgiving celebration. They had us over for dinner a couple of times for authentic Chinese food that was quite tasty even though we were not real sure what exactly we were eating. All in all, it was a very enriching experience for us.
This past week, John and I picked up Li and took her to the airport for her return flight home. Eric was in class so we had no translator. We helped her get checked in and before she went through security, our final goodbyes got very emotional. I am certain that a good portion of her emotion was based in having to leave her son here again but there was definitely some intense pain on both our parts. She cried, I cried, we clung to one another, waved and blew kisses... It was ridiculous! As we were driving back from the airport, it hit me that the only connection we had was our hearts. We were never able to share our thoughts and feelings with our mouths but we certainly managed to do it nonverbally.
The difficulty we had in saying goodbye made no sense under the circumstances. There was absolutely no reason for us to be so emotionally fragile. It was completely unexplainable but if you've been a Christian as long as I have, you begin to look for God's lessons in things that happen that are unexplainable. Sure enough. Here's what I realized. This past New Year's Eve, I printed off and charged our Sunday School class to meditate on the fruit of the spirit over this year. I decided to pick a couple of the "fruit" and concentrate on showing them more in my life this year. Guess which was the first one I picked--love. And since January 1st, this is the second time I have experienced a deep love for someone that defied logic. Both have also caused me deep pain but instead of regretting this pain, I have come to realize that it is the intensity of the emotion that proves the presence of the love.
A part of me is hesitant to continue putting myself into these situations. And then the Holy Spirit nudges me and reminds me of my New Year's commitment. And here's the question I have asked myself: If, at the end of my life, the depth of my love for God's people will be judged by how many times my heart was tender towards or was broken by someone, will the count be high or low? The last thing I want is to get to heaven and find out all the missed opportunities because I was afraid to open myself up. Here's to looking forward to next time my heart breaks for someone!
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