Forgiveness

Not much new to report on the recovery front. I'm still slowly gaining back my strength, more slowly than I like but I have kept pushing toward my goals each day. Some days I push too hard and have to back off but I'm learning to listen (and pay attention) to my body. I sure do have a new appreciation for people with chronic illnesses who deal with this kind of thing every day with little hope of progressing  back to a "normal" lifestyle. God bless you all!

I have really enjoyed my devotion time in the mornings and as various things swirl around in my mind, I feel the need to write them down. So, if you are interested, here's the latest in my brain callisthenics.

"...and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us." Matthew 6:12

If God forgives me just as I forgive others, I am in So. Much. Trouble.

My forgiveness is often based on my definition of need. In my opinion, how much forgiveness does that person really deserve?

My forgiveness is often temporary. I may say I forgive them but the first time it comes back up again, it becomes obvious my forgiveness has faded over time.

My forgiveness is often accompanied by distancing myself from that person. By not having to deal with them, I can more easily pretend I have forgiven them.

My forgiveness is often conditional. I will forgive as long as that person appears to be sufficiently remorseful or hangs their head in shame for the rest of their natural life. As long as I feel they have paid dearly enough, I can continue my forgiveness.

My forgiveness is often selfish. Forgiveness is great as long as it makes me look like the better person. Even if inside I still harbor bitterness and resentment, it's the outside appearance that matters.

Wow, is that how I want God to forgive me? Do I want God's forgiveness to be temporary, selfish, conditional or deserved? Does He really mean this verse in Matthew?

Yes. He. Does. I've got some work to do.