DEstruction vs CONstruction

Well, school is in full swing again and as I look back at the events of the summer, I have come to a conclusion that may seem obvious but also has some significant implications to life in general. Here's how it came about...

When school ended in May, I watched as our maintenance staff swung into action. There was a flurry of activity as they tore things down, moved things out, ripped things up, and just generally made a mess of our beautiful building. At first it was exciting to see all the improvements that were going to be achieved but as the summer wore on, it became very clear that the "tearing things up" took a whole lot less time than the "putting them back." Even though my logically thinking mind told me this was a normal turn of events, the easily frustrated part of my mind told me to panic.

Here's where the life application part kicks in. It sure doesn't take long to tear someone down with just a few critical words but boy, does it ever take a long time to build that same someone back up! It takes more than just a few words--it takes a lot of actions to back them up. What is it they say--it takes 10 compliments to negate one criticism? I think it's more like 100 compliments but maybe that's just me.

Criticism can be constructive or destructive depending on the motivation behind it. It's easy to say we are doing it out of love for the person but whether or not the other person sees it that way is crucial. What kind of a relationship do you have with the individual? It's hard to convince someone of your "loving" motive when your contact with them has been shallow up to this point. Does the person have a reason to truly believe you are speaking out of genuine concern? How much time have you invested in their life prior to the conversation? The answers to these questions will determine whether the person feels attacked or whether they can use the information you are giving them to improve themselves.

As it turned out, everything (well, almost everything) got fixed, put back, and rebuilt before school started. And the building looks amazing but I certainly had my doubts. I guess the moral of this story is not to tear things up (criticize) if you haven't already made a plan (invested your time) to restore it to a state that was better than it started.