Back to normal?

Well, I reached another milestone today.  I went back to work for the first time in seven weeks. It went well, I made it all eight hours, and I didn't even have to crawl to my recliner when I got home. Things are back to normal.

Or are they? And do I want them to be?

I have to confess that I am a creature of habit and was pretty excited when I could return all of my post-surgery paraphernalia back to it's proper places. Extra pillows back on the appropriate beds, pill bottles put away, TV remotes no longer within arms reach of my recliner. My disposition began to brighten when I could see my "normal" coming back into focus.

However, when I re-read what I have written over the last three months, I see how many insights God has given me and it makes me realize that normal may not be what I really want. Do I want to go back to doing things the same way, reacting the same, interacting the same?

I think the answer has to be a resounding NO. I don't truly understand why God felt I needed to endure this little challenge but His purpose is perfect. So, if I go right back to business as usual, am I not telling Him that whatever purpose He had in mind is not as important as my feeling normal again?

I believe I'm going to have to consider a new normal. One that integrates the lessons God taught me. One that is open to new opportunities and new relationships. One that is more concerned with Kingdom work than with staying inside my "normal" box.

It's a little scary outside this box but if I can survive a ten pound tumor and a 12+ inch abdominal incision, I can do anything, right?

For vs. With

For and with. 

Two tiny little words that could easily be overlooked but have recently caused me to completely rethink the things I do. 

My Bible study this week discussed the difference between doing things for Jesus and doing them with Him. This idea intrigued me so I did my own little study on this topic. Here is what I discovered.

First thing I did was go to my trusty dictionary (which, by the way, is on my phone--I am in the 21st century). Both of these words are prepositions and both have similar meanings with one fundamental difference. 

for - used as a function word to indicate purpose

with - used as a function word to indicate a participant in an action

Did you notice the difference? For has a purpose but with requires participation. So here's where this took me.

When I do things for Jesus, I have a purpose; to glorify God and further the kingdom. Not a bad thing. I don't think God would object to that. 

But...

When I do things with Jesus, I am simply a participant in a greater plan. I am being the Lord's hands and feet. I am in partnership with Him in His kingdom work. I am relying on Him to put me where I should be, doing what I am meant to do. 

Since it's summer, let's use a fishing analogy. I love analogies. They help me wrap my brain around otherwise complex concepts. And Jesus used this technique often so I'm guessing it is an effective way to get through to those of us who are a little denser than others. 

When I do things for Jesus, it's like casting out a bunch of fish hooks hoping that some of them will land where there are fish. I could potentially catch one but I may or may not have a very good success rate.

When I do things with Jesus, it's like going out on the lake with a fish finder, locating a school of fish, then dropping my hook right in the middle of them. My success rate is almost guaranteed to go up. 

I'm going to have to process this a bit more to truly grasp what these two approaches look like in real life but it has certainly given me something to think about. 

Slippery Slopes

Here's where my mental exercises took me today. Sorry it's so long. Lots to think about.

Psalm 32 is a beautiful picture of what our sin cycles look like and how God's amazing grace addresses each one. Three words are used to describe our miserable conditions as sinful humans: transgressions, sin, and iniquity. The Bible study I'm doing asked me to write my thoughts about each of them. Having a fascination for words sent me to Webster's dictionary first, then to my own opinion about how these might be classified as a downward spiral. You can certainly disagree with me but here are my impressions.

Transgression "infringement or violation of a law, command or duty"
I see these as our inevitable "slip ups." Those things we do that we don't really intend to be violating God's law but in our weakness, we slip. Angry words to our spouse or children, keeping the change we got in error, telling little white lies to keep us from having to deal with difficult situations.

Sin "an offense against religious or moral law"
This seems to me to be the next level on the slippery slope. This is more purposeful. We know it's wrong but do it anyway because we don't think anyone will know or care. Cheating on our taxes, extra marital affairs, participating in immoral practices at work, ignoring God's will in our lives for what is easier. (Ouch)

Iniquity "the quality of being unfair or evil"
This one seems to be the most dangerous. This is when it ceases to be a decision and has now become a "quality," a part of our character and lifestyle that doesn't even tweak our conscience anymore.

If you look closely at the Psalm 32 passage, you can see where God, as He often does, provides a complementary three words to describe how He responses to our slippery behavior.

Forgiven "to stop feeling anger toward or about something or someone"
This is God's response to our slip ups. When we ask for forgiveness, it stops His wrath against us. Bam. Gone. Forgotten.

Covered "to put something over in order to protect, hide or close it"
This is God's response to our sincere repentance. The blood of Jesus literally covers our sins to protect us from the consequence we truly deserve. Amen.

Not counted "not added together to be a total number"
This is God's great grace in response to our complete surrender. No matter how far down the slope we have allowed ourselves to slip, God's grace will not count it against us if we genuinely turn from our sinful ways and desire to become a new creation. Hallelujah!

Although my desire it to be Christ-like and not participate in any of those first three, I know I'm not perfect and will most certainly slip up. However, my challenge is to keep them in the transgression category and not let myself slide down that slope.

That's my opinion. I would encourage you to read all of Psalm 32 and make your own conclusions.