An Encounter with Jesus

Today, as I was reading in the book Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman (an amazing, life changing book by the way), the author suggested a scenario that caused me to play out a mental visualization that I can't get out of my head. A question I can't find a completely acceptable answer to. A realization that my life needs to revolve around the honest, heart-felt, all or nothing answer to this question. Here's how it goes:

I am in a coffee shop, which is peculiar in the first place since I don't drink coffee but that was where Kyle Idleman placed his scenario so we'll go with it. I am enjoying my Diet Dr. Pepper and checking my email, facebook, surfing the internet, when in walks Jesus. He comes straight to me, which seems to also be a peculiarity. There are so many other important people He could be visiting. Why me? Those thoughts fade away though when I stand up to greet Him and He wraps me up in a big bear hug. I melt into His strong arms and stay there a bit longer than my brain tells me is socially acceptable. When He finally releases me, I look up into His face and He says, "I love you" to which I respond the standard answer of "I love you too."

We sit down in the booth and Jesus takes my hands in His. My attention immediately goes to the scars that are evident in His hands but it doesn't stay there because of His next question. Lost in the deep pools that are His eyes, He says to me, "Do you really love me too?"

"Do you really love me?" 

Obviously my standard answer isn't going to cut it with Jesus. He isn't looking for my words. He's looking for so much more. My thoughts go to Peter and this same conversation the Lord had with him on the banks of the Sea of Tiberias. Peter was inclined to give the pat answer too, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." John 21:15 But that wasn't good enough for Jesus. He knew that Peter was going to face great adversity and would be instrumental in starting the church so "I love you too" needed to come from the very depths of his soul. It needed to be with his heart, soul, and mind. (Matthew 22:37)

So here I am with this question: "Do you love me?"  Noah loved God enough to give up everything to live in a boat. Moses loved God enough to give up everything to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land. Abraham loved God enough to willingly sacrifice his precious son. The disciples loved Jesus enough to give up everything to follow Him and later even gave up their lives. What am I willing to give up? Do I love Him more than my house, my car, and my material possessions? Do I love Him more than my job or my church? Do I love him more than my family? Do I love Him more than my life?

Tough questions. But the realization that the answers will ultimately define my relationship with Jesus and dictate my eternal home behooves me to get serious about my responses. Praise the Lord that I'm a work in progress and He's not finished with me yet!

Integrity

"If you don't get caught, it's not wrong." 

I overheard this statement being made by a five-year-old to his friend a number of years ago in my kindergarten class. The context was that of certain rules that may or may not be allowed in a soccer game but sadly, this particular child seemed to adopt this philosophy in many areas of his life. I was recently reminded of this incident after a discussion about integrity at my church.

Although it seems obvious that this child's thinking was clearly skewed, it made me realize that we as adults apply this type of reasoning to an astonishing amount of life situations and don't think anything of it. How many of us drive five miles over the speed limit because we are pretty sure law enforcement won't stop us until we are over ten miles? How many of us cheat (even ever so slightly) on our income taxes because we're gambling on the possibility we won't be audited? How many of us keep the extra change we were given by the clerk accidently? That's his/her mistake, right?

Now, lest you think I am writing this from atop my high horse, I am just as guilty as anyone else. We gamble nearly every day that if we are not seen doing something and we don't get caught, we're home free. The other day I was purchasing my daily Diet Dr. Pepper at Kum & Go (it's my only vise--leave me alone) when I noticed a dime and two pennies laying on the shelf below the counter. Someone had obviously failed to pick up their change. Without thinking, I scooped it up and dropped it into my purse. Immediately I was struck with a thought. What right did I have to take that money? It wasn't mine, it wasn't given to me, I had no claim to it. So I removed it from my purse and placed it in the box for donations to a local charity.

Do I believe that 12 cents would have placed my eternal soul in jeopardy? Of course not. But it did shock me somewhat that I didn't even hesitate at first. This business of integrity can be an extremely slippery slope. We see it all the time in high profile individuals who fall from grace for something that seems completely out of character for their position. We can't imagine how that person could have wandered so far away from what is morally right. My fear is that it started with 12 cents that didn't belong to them and someday it could be me that everyone is shocked to hear about.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

My prayer today is that God will help me be a person of integrity so that everything flowing from my heart will be pleasing to Him.