Spiritual Warfare

I just looked at the dates on my blog and realized that I have only posted four times in the entire year of 2012. What a bad blogger I am! I knew I had been neglectful but hadn't realized just how much. I could probably come up with all kinds of excuses but the bottom line is that I don't blog just to be blogging. If I don't have something meaningful (or at least what I think is meaningful) to say, I don't write. And frankly, words with any meaning have been scarce for me so far this year.

I can't really give you a reason. I've not had a terrible year. I've not been overly stressed or, for that matter, overly busy. Busy, of course, but not tear-my-hair-out-meet-myself-coming-and-going busy. The fact of the matter is I've simply not been inspired...motivated...convicted...until today.

Today my heart is aching. Bleeding really. There are so many tragic, devastating, mind numbing situations going on with people I know. Co-workers with children whose lives have been forever changed because of freak accidents. A family member who is battling a permanent disability. Friends whose marriage is disintegrating. Children I am responsible for at school who are having to deal with incredibly tough home lives. I find my prayer time getting longer and longer as the list of people who desparately need intercessory prayer gets longer and longer.

And I wonder more and more every day why. Why doesn't God just fix each problem? Why doesn't He just intervene, perform a miracle, and move on?

Today, it hit me. Why doesn't He do what I think He should? Because that may not be what is best for that particular person or family. He may be working in their lives in ways I can't see or comprehend. He may have a much greater purpose in mind than my simple and finite brain can fathom. He sees the whole picture and not just the small piece. I am asking for my will to be done in their lives and not His because mine seemed far easier. Easy is rarely God's plan. Eternity is.

When I look back at the difficult times we have dealt with in our family, I can point to specific situations that absolutely and unequivocally changed our lives. Changed our family. Changed our outlook. Changed our relationship with God. What if God had listened to someone's prayer for us to make things easier? Where would we be?

Am I going to continue to pray for my friends and family? Of course. But I'm going to shift my emphasis from "fixing" the problem to spiritual growth through the problem. I am going to let my intercession become more focused on God's goals than my own.

Matthew 7:14 "But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few find it." (NLT)

Intimacy

 Intimacy. A word that Webster's defines as "marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity."

We can certainly love our children, parents, and friends but true intimacy is usually reserved for spouses or significant others. And I'm not talking just physical intimacy. I mean emotional, you-know-everything-about-me intimacy. I believe that God planned it that way. In fact, I believe that the relationship between Adam and Eve was patterned after the one He had with them before sin entered the world and spoiled it all. And God wholeheartedly desires to reestablish that closeness or else He wouldn't have sent Jesus.

Listen to the way David described his desire for this intimacy in Psalm 63:

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands."

If you were to change the perspective and pretend you were saying these words to your spouse, the relationship would be unmistakable. Go ahead. Read it again, only this time substitute God for someone you are very close to.

Did you hear the intimacy? Most of us find it much easier to relate these emotions to an earthly partnership but what would happen if we transferred these feelings to our heavenly association? Jesus desperately wants to be our friend. He says so in John 15:15:

"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

I was recently comforting a crying baby and was holding him up close to my face so I could talk softly to him. He eventually calmed down and I was able to put him down to continue playing. As I moved him away from my face, I realized that his tears were still on my cheek. What a perfect picture of the intimacy our God wants with us. He wants us to be so close that when we cry, we leave our tears on His face.

Now that's a relationship I can long for.

Between the Rains

Wow, it certainly has been a while since I posted on here! It seems that the drought we are experiencing right now in the weather has also affected my ability/desire to write. At least that's what I'm going to blame it on. I find myself looking at the weather radar every morning to see if there is even a blip on it that could result in some rain. I find myself watching the sky and hoping to find a cloud that might possibly turn gray and wet. I anxiously listen to the weather report, praying there might be a break in this hot, dry spell.

I recently finished leading a Bible study on James by Beth Moore and she uses the phrase "between the rains" that has intrigued me, especially in light of our current lack of much needed moisture. Beth's discussion is based on James 5:7 that says, "Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains." She makes the point that in their area, rain mainly came in the fall and spring and in between, they had to wait and trust that God would send the necessary precipitation at just the right time.

Applying it to our own lives, she points out that there are times when we can most assuredly feel the blessings of God raining down on us in a tangible way. There seems to be no doubt about His love and promises. But then there are the times between the rains where He seems far away. It may be our own sinfulness causing the rift or He may just be testing our faith but for whatever reason, there just seems to be a drought in our spiritual life. So, the question is, "What do we do between the rains?"

We have several choices but the most popular one, for me anyway, is to whine about it. "Why are you doing this to me Lord?" "What have I done to deserve this?" "Why are other people receiving all the blessings and I'm not?" These questions will inevitably lead me into self-pity, depression, and ultimately to bitterness and anger, all emotions that carry me farther away from God's desires for me.

Of course, there are better questions to ask, even if they are not quite as comfortable. "What sin do I need to get rid of in my life?" "What lessons are You trying to teach me?" Or better yet, "Praise your name, Lord, because You are faithful even in the dry spells." "I will rejoice in all situations, Lord." "Teach me to wait on You, Lord."

If we ask these hard questions and believe these unfailing promises, we can watch the skies for that one tiny cloud and know our rain is coming. No matter what our situations, there is one thing we can count on; If we remain faithful, God's blessings will come. And that's more reliable than any weather report!

Standin' on the corner in Winslow, Arizona

Oh yes, there really is a corner in Winslow, Arizona and I stood on it! There's even a flatbed Ford parked on the street beside it. (For those of you too young to have a clue what I'm talking about, listen to the Eagles song, Take It Easy.)

And what was I doing in Arizona, you ask? Well, we spent a week with the Navajo Trails Mission helping them get their ministry to the Navajo people going full swing. Each year during spring break, John and I go with the Christian Campus House from MSU (and 60-100 college students) on a mission trip somewhere. We have gone to Mexico, New Orleans, and this year to Arizona. Upon our return every year, I like to spend some time figuring out what God had to teach me through each unique experience. Here are this year's revelations:

The Little Painted Desert

On the way out there, we traveled through miles upon miles of the most barren country I think I have ever seen...and I'm from Kansas! But even in the barrenness, there was such beauty. Plateaus and mesas rising up from the red sand, snow covered mountains in the distance, gorgeous canyons, and mounds of lava rock that looked like they had just that day bubbled up from the depths of the earth.

What an awesome example of God's ability to take something so desolate and seemingly lifeless and turn it into a moment of pure speechlessness. That's point #1.

The day we got out there, they were experiencing one of their frequent wind storms, 60-100 mile an hour winds with nothing to stop it. The tent we were planning to stay in all week was completely flattened and between the high altitude, bucking the massive winds, and being pelted by sand and dirt, walking anywhere proved hazardous to my health.
 

Our tent after the wind storm

Which leads me to point #2. The power of that wind was so overwhelming and even in light of the destruction it could cause, I was reminded that God's power is so much greater. And since "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..." Psalm 111:10, it would serve us all well to realize what God is capable of and how His great grace and mercy saves us from what we truly deserve.

And lastly...even though we've been to various locations since I have begun accompanying Christian Campus House on their Spring Break mission trips, there has always been one commonality--you work your backsides off! And the thing that impresses me the most each year is that the college students we take are 100% in to the work. They get up early, work every part of the day they are allowed, and go looking for more work if they get done with their assignments. And this doesn't seem to be an isolated group of kids because although we may have some of the same students for several years in a row, there are plenty of new faces every year. These young people are willing to give up their Spring Break (which typically involves lounging on a beach or just kicking back for a week) to work harder, get dirtier, and sweat more than most have done their whole lives.

It blows me away to see where they are in their spiritual maturity and see their genuine love for serving the Lord. And it's not just a facade they put on for a week. After spending almost 24 hours in a van with them, you hear and see the authenticity of their walk when things don't go as planned and they are asked to be inconvenienced and patient. So to point #3...if they stay as committed as they are in their lives right now, the future of the kingdom is in good hands.

I could do another whole blog on the plight of the Navajo people but will save that for another time. Suffice it to say that this year's mission experience was once again a success, not only in the amount of work we were able to get done for the Navajo Trails Mission but in the lessons learned, the awesomeness of God revealed, and the faith that was tested. To God be the glory!

Unfairness

How many times have we heard our kids cry, "That's not fair" to which we mothers inevitably reply, "Life's not fair"? That seems to be an appropriate response when the amount of candy or the biggest cookie is involved but what happens when real life issues seem so incredibly unfair?

I've recently had to come face to face with a situation that has caused me to take a serious look at this concept of fairness. It's a very long story which I won't bore you with but here it is in a nutshell:

One of the companies that my husband does work for (he's self-employed and works out of our basement) went bankrupt in 2009. Last summer we received a notice from the trustee for the bankruptcy saying they needed us to pay back $25,000 due to a law that prohibits companies from dumping money prior to declaring bankruptcy. Mind you, this was money he was paid for work he did. After hiring an attorney in Minnesota and months of trying to prove it was paid through "normal business practices," they refused our proof and have filed a judgment against us. We have had to settle with them for a lesser amount but taking into consideration the attorney fees, the judgment, and the penalty we will have to pay to take the money out of our small retirement account, we are getting out of this for a mere $10,000.

Throughout this whole process, my 10-year old self has repeatedly screamed, "NO FAIR!" And I have had to do some earnest soul searching to come to grips with it. Now you'd think that a woman who has pretty successfully dealt with the fact that her only daughter will never progress past the mental capacity of a 3 year old would have this issue of fairness all nailed down. I wish I could say that was true.

Somehow reconciling Laurie's handicap and God's involvement in it has been a whole lot easier than seeing any good that can come out of us paying all this money to a company who didn't manage their business well enough to stay afloat. It grieves me to admit that when it affects my pocketbook, my ability to accept this was God's will takes a serious hit.

My attempts to come to grips led me first to the dictionary which gave me this definition:
          unfair--not based on or behaving according to the principles of equality and justice
The word principles kept coming back to me and this question with it: Whose principles of equality and justice? If I use the world's principles, then I'm on a fast track to a slippery slope. Self-pity, entitlement, selfishness, and a host of other self absorbed emotions will pave the way and I might as well just pitch a tent and cop a squat at the bottom of that slope because I won't be climbing back up any time soon.

But what if we consider God's principles? Was it fair that Moses had to wander in the wilderness for 40 years because the Israelites couldn't get their act together? Was it fair that Job had to lose almost everything because of a bet God had with the Devil? Was it fair that so many of the disciples were martyred because they wouldn't denounce Christ? And of course, the ultimate in unfairness--the arrest, torture, and death of Jesus who was without sin. In each of these instances, God's principles were based on eternity and not the here and now. God's basis for equality and justice stands in direct opposition with the world's.

Have I figured out what God's eternal purpose is for us having to pay back money that was rightfully ours? No. But I believe He doesn't break His promises and here's what He showed me last week:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. I Peter 1:6-7


My response to this perceived injustice will directly affect my faith...which is worth much more than $10,000.